I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.