i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.