Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"