I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
