I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
