also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
