If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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