FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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