She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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