i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
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