if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
