My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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