can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
