That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
