You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
