You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
