I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
