So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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