Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
