she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
