apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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