and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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