my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
