I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
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