Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
