I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
