This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
