its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
