take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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