areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
