fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
