I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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