my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Randomize
