can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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