so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
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