and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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