Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
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