i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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