her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
