Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
