it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
