Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
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