Your mouth is God's brothel.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
We have started to decorate penises.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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