I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
