Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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