If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
operation have a gay friend backfired
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
