yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Randomize
