Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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