The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
