you will always have a special place in my vag
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
