something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
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