Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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