sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
