ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
This is the high leading the old right now
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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