Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
