They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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