I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
