the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
The Olympian is in my bed
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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