you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
