I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize