I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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