To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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