ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Can't talk, ducks in the car
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
