She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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