Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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