i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
